Women always win :)

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her classthat in Spanish, unlike English,nouns are designated as eithermasculine or feminine."House" for instance,is feminine:"la casa.""Pencil,"however,is masculine:"el lapiz."A student asked," What gender is 'computer' ?" Instead of giving the answer,the teacher split the class into two groups,male and female,and asked them to decidefor themselves whether "computer"should bea masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was askedto give four reasonsfor its recommendation.

The men's group decided that"computer" should definitely beof the feminine gender("la computadora"),because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;2. The native languagethey use to communicatewith other computers isincomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakesare stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and4. As soon as you makea commitment to one,you find yourself spendinghalf your paycheckon accessories for it. (THIS GET S BETTER!)

The women's group,however, concludedthat computers should be Masculine("el computador"),because: 1. In order to do anythingwith them,you have to turn them on;2. They have a lot of databut still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposedto help you solve problems,but half the timethey ARE the problem; and4. As soon as you commit to one,you realize that if youhad waited a little longer,you could have gotten a better model.The women won.

For all the married couple

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, " my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

A. Prayer...... . Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet.

Sardar Jokes -- This list will definitely be expanding - So keep checking this one.
I am trying to see if i can collect all the Sardar jokes I got till date. If you have something, pass it to me as well

*****What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

*****Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said"My Mobile No. has changed .. Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

*****Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College
Banta : Really, what is he studing
Santa : No is not studying, they are Studying him.

******Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes alove letter to her: "I luv u sister."

*****Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mothertongue.?
Santa: Very long!

*****Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

*****Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

*****Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message.Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

*****Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

*****Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

*****Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?

*****One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way
Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home
Friend: 'Is it! How did you come to office from home in the morning
Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.'

*****Cheating...
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

*****Garry Kasporav & Sardarji
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov.
Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gary. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'
Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

*****Sardarji & Telugu
One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child,it will start to speak after6 mths.

******Banta Singh in Heaven
After death, Banta Singh reached the door of the heaven smoothly. There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta...It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.
Banta, with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question.
Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year?
Banta, after lot of thought, answered,'12'.
Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how?
Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........

*****BANTA SINGH - BEST OF ALL
Friend: What are you looking at?
Banta Singh: I know your Password, hee, hee.
Friend: all right, what is my Password if you saw it?
Banta Singh: four asterisks!

*****Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Banta Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Banta Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

******Banta Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Banta Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Banta Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!

*****Banta Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Banta Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

******Santa Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure.Banta Singh: That's all right, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for3 hrs.

*****Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am watching?"

******Titanic is sinking.... Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to god...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles!?.... then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Sardarji : ??????
(The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again)Italian : Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards .....

Touching Story

One day a man punished his young daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he was furious when the child tried to decorate a box.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, "Don't you know when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?”

His daughter looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty, I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later and it is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for many years, and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love - love and kisses from our children, our friends, our family and from God - despite how we have behaved toward them.

What must we do in order to truly express our response to such gifts?

Hilarious

An Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman" arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name. He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet.They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as "Anotherman Superman".


--- I am glad my name being VIDHYASHREE ANANTHANARAYANAN, no american dares to try to tell my name. They would go like Ana and i know they are calling me out and so look at them while they are staring at me, knowing for sure, noone but me can have such a crapiest name.

Music played at work?

I love music, but definitely no loud music when I am working. I don’t mind people listening to music at work. Each one has their own pace and if music helps you to be more productive, then yes listen to it while working – but with head phones. Right now, I share my office with 2 more co-workers. And yes, I am totally tired of listening to the music they play loud while I am getting my work done here. Sad part is we are all professionals. So respect professionalism. Know others before you do things. I can understand people playing music loud in their own offices, but not when you share your office space. I need someone like Gandhi (coz I lack patience) to deal and change these people. Is there anyone who has to deal with such things at work?

My first white hair

Such a horrible day today as I spotted my first grey hair. I immediately googled just to find out that I have less than 1oyrs for my entire hair to turn grey. I have never dyed my hair so far but I do know I cant take the sight of having half black and half grey hair (May be it could be coz of my mom who never paid importance to her looks). She tells me grey hair makes her gain respect from youngsters who immdly stand up to offer her a seat in the bus (Chennai busses are packed and she feels running and winning a marathon with the seat offered = prize won). I dont have such a reason to feel proud of this grey hair. I know one thing for sure - from now on I will never stand before the mirror. I am glad, my husband got his first one few months back :) --So i will never be teased at home :D