For all the married couple

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, " my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

A. Prayer...... . Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet.

Sardar Jokes -- This list will definitely be expanding - So keep checking this one.
I am trying to see if i can collect all the Sardar jokes I got till date. If you have something, pass it to me as well

*****What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

*****Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said"My Mobile No. has changed .. Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

*****Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College
Banta : Really, what is he studing
Santa : No is not studying, they are Studying him.

******Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes alove letter to her: "I luv u sister."

*****Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mothertongue.?
Santa: Very long!

*****Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

*****Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

*****Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message.Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

*****Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

*****Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

*****Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?

*****One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way
Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home
Friend: 'Is it! How did you come to office from home in the morning
Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.'

*****Cheating...
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

*****Garry Kasporav & Sardarji
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov.
Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gary. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'
Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

*****Sardarji & Telugu
One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child,it will start to speak after6 mths.

******Banta Singh in Heaven
After death, Banta Singh reached the door of the heaven smoothly. There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta...It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.
Banta, with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question.
Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year?
Banta, after lot of thought, answered,'12'.
Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how?
Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........

*****BANTA SINGH - BEST OF ALL
Friend: What are you looking at?
Banta Singh: I know your Password, hee, hee.
Friend: all right, what is my Password if you saw it?
Banta Singh: four asterisks!

*****Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Banta Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Banta Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

******Banta Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Banta Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Banta Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!

*****Banta Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Banta Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

******Santa Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure.Banta Singh: That's all right, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for3 hrs.

*****Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am watching?"

******Titanic is sinking.... Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to god...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles!?.... then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Sardarji : ??????
(The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again)Italian : Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards .....

Touching Story

One day a man punished his young daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he was furious when the child tried to decorate a box.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, "Don't you know when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?”

His daughter looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty, I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later and it is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for many years, and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love - love and kisses from our children, our friends, our family and from God - despite how we have behaved toward them.

What must we do in order to truly express our response to such gifts?

Hilarious

An Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman" arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name. He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet.They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as "Anotherman Superman".


--- I am glad my name being VIDHYASHREE ANANTHANARAYANAN, no american dares to try to tell my name. They would go like Ana and i know they are calling me out and so look at them while they are staring at me, knowing for sure, noone but me can have such a crapiest name.

Music played at work?

I love music, but definitely no loud music when I am working. I don’t mind people listening to music at work. Each one has their own pace and if music helps you to be more productive, then yes listen to it while working – but with head phones. Right now, I share my office with 2 more co-workers. And yes, I am totally tired of listening to the music they play loud while I am getting my work done here. Sad part is we are all professionals. So respect professionalism. Know others before you do things. I can understand people playing music loud in their own offices, but not when you share your office space. I need someone like Gandhi (coz I lack patience) to deal and change these people. Is there anyone who has to deal with such things at work?

My first white hair

Such a horrible day today as I spotted my first grey hair. I immediately googled just to find out that I have less than 1oyrs for my entire hair to turn grey. I have never dyed my hair so far but I do know I cant take the sight of having half black and half grey hair (May be it could be coz of my mom who never paid importance to her looks). She tells me grey hair makes her gain respect from youngsters who immdly stand up to offer her a seat in the bus (Chennai busses are packed and she feels running and winning a marathon with the seat offered = prize won). I dont have such a reason to feel proud of this grey hair. I know one thing for sure - from now on I will never stand before the mirror. I am glad, my husband got his first one few months back :) --So i will never be teased at home :D

Arizona Heat

I am not gonna brag here about how bad AZ's heat is - Coz u can imagine just with this one.
I had planted a money plant and left it in our patio and the plant grew really well but after we had such a horrible week last week (temp hitting >115F), some of its leaves have turned completely black (burnt completely that when i try to pluck those leaves, I am left with ashes in my hands) -- My mom is sure upset about the plant dying as she is the care-taker of them.

What I miss in my life :-

Living far, far away from Family is definitely wat people wud mention as the first thing they miss in their life -- But for me, the priorities are little re-arranged

1. First and foremost, half saree aka davani ---- Like the different phases in Baasha song, one of the dress phase is davani in a girl's life. Once married, you no longer wear half saree anymore and start to wear saree rather. My last chance to wear half saree was before my marriage, and yes i did make the full use of it. The last day i wore it being "Mangili Pundugal" aka sumangali prathanai -- A function where all the ladies in the family pay tribute to the sumangalis who passed away in ones family. Done before marriage by the elders in the family, in order for the girl to follow the sumangalis. Ofcourse, am I gonna strictly abide to the rules to not wear half saree now?? Perhaps my strong motivation to lose all the weight hv gained so far wud be definitely to wear half saree again (altho definitely only before my mom and my brother)

2. Saravana Bhavan -- Guess requires no further explanation

3. College study hols --- Loved the study hols...esp, coz all my close friends from college sendhu adicha koothu...ofcourse we were good students, so studies first --we will meet around 9-10ish and study till 3pm everyday taking a break for an hr for lunch. evening 3ku mela fun time...playing antakshari and visiting venkateshwara boli stall (the very mention of the shop makes my husband, then my best friend go mad (should i put wild rather) on me.

4. My uncle TVS Champ --well i dont think i can handle chennai traffic anymore (for when i went to chennai in 03, my close friend gave me his Scooty and asked me to take a ride -- and facing the stray dogs, pedestrians was enuf to raise my pressure. And of course, my friend decided not to insult his bike (wat shld i call scooty as?) anymore coz i was riding behind one cyclist (shame on me)

5. Aunty mia --- Born and brought up in a colony, evening after 8pm is fun time with all ladies assembling in one place to discuss their day along with enga anga vishayam (ofcourse with the mega serial fever, the association did break, but i will miss this all thro)

6. Current (Power) cut in India -- Hate it during the day, and nite after 11pm, but in between current cut super jollya irukum...All the kids in our building wud assemble upstairs and do all the fun activities..Periyavanga aagita peragu, activity was just talking talkin talkin ---time for gossips ofcourse ----But needless miss Welcome Colony for we nolonger live there anymore.

7. Staying in-line with the fashion around -- seri, seri, with respect to sarees atleast

8. <25 yr old ---I guess this should be ranked foremost for i hv stopped celebrating my bdays with the very thought of gettin old (ofcourse wise)

9. DALLAS - Again should appear in the top --Life as a student making very less $$$ differs to being employed full-time. Coz, i hated Dallas and the very idea of re-locating to Dallas brought me no good memories and made me cry day in and day out for weeks, but once i got settled there, being on my own, making good friends made me start to love the place. Infact, i loved AZ as a student, but not anymore (for i know i had no choice given other than to leave Dallas and may be one reason for my current aversion to Phx)For people who hv no clue abt Dallas and Phx, the only positive abt Dallas is the indian community with lots of indian restaurants (in phx restaurants sucks --and shld i say there is no south indian restaurant worth dining) and the disadv of phx being summer never ends (but winter sucks in dallas definitely, for i cant take a stroll if i want to, other than being indoors)

Why men take chances?

Ever noticed your man driving his car until the gas runs out to E (empty) and still continuing to drive till the light starts to blink and deciding now is the time to get the gas ?

I am not sure if ladies can take such chances - Are you one of them?

Once i did try to test my stress level by waiting for the gas to move to the E level and then waiting for the lights to turn on but I spent the entire drive perspiring and rested after i hit the gas station (ofcourse did switch the AC in the car as I was too scared to take any more chances).

I once spoke to a friend of mine and she told me that men normally go in search of the gas station that has the lease price per gallon unlike girls who dont want to drive a long way just for the sake of gas. But when men drive till the lights blink, should'nt they have to find a gas station nearby? I once was in my friend's car and expected him to drive like a mile may be after the lights started blinking, or to find the nearest gas station (ofcourse he had his GPS that told him all the gas stations around the area). But instead found him drive till Costco to get gas which was around 25miles from the location we started. But here I was silently looking at the meter and praying that it doesnt stop on the way (for all the hassle that we have to take later).

They say its hard to read a girl's mind, but I tell you its so difficult to understand a man's action.

Thirsty! Thirsty! Thirsty!

It was a summer day, although temperature was low. I felt myself drinking more than 4litres of water. I was in the office, inside an AC room and wonder it can’t be the heat. I go around talking to my co-workers if they feel thirsty like I do. And they tell me; well it might be heat that dehydrates me. And I am thinking to myself, why just me. Why doesn’t the heat dehydrate them? So, now worried I look at few other co-workers in my office and they don’t seem to be holding a bottle around them in the office. Panicked, I Google to find out what this could possibly be a symptom for. And how I wish Google wasn’t smart enough to reveal all answers to me. But here in Google comes a whole page about Diabetes. Of course now I am paranoid and drive to the nearby Costco to talk to the pharmacist there.
Me:
Can I get Electrolyte if you have it as off the counter one?
Pharmacist:
May I ask you why you need electrolyte for?
Me:
Well I am feeling thirsty continuously, and therefore want to have electrolyte with water to relieve the thirst
Pharmacist:
I am afraid; I can only ask you to get Gatorade if you are that bad thirsty
Me:
Well but Gatorade has lots of sugar in it (I remember Google solution to my problem). I really don’t want to have that
Pharmacist:
You know what, may be I should ask you to see a doctor. Coz sometimes, it could be diabetes that can cause such thirst (just how Google said).

On my way back home, I call to make an appointment with the doctor. I go and look at myself in the mirror. Well I don’t look really slim to believe that the weight I lost is due to diabetes. On the other hand, I do not look over-weight too to hint the amount of sugar in my body. I now think to myself, well God is not so mean to punish someone such a young age with Diabetes.

I go to the doctor appointment and give my blood sugar test. Everything comes out normal and here I am relieved that I don’t have diabetes. But till date, my water thirst hasn’t stopped. I still drink more than 4lit of water, when people around me are not even sipping the required amount of daily water intake.

Still wondering what’s wrong with me.

RUDE - I HATE THEM

1. I was feeling thirsty on a summer day with temperatures over 100F. I ran out of water and go to the break room and find that the water bottle/can (that’s 5gallons huge) is empty. I know it’s not easy to lift a bottle that volume and decide to request for help from 2 of the passers who apparently are guys from my team. I ask the first guy, can you help me out with the water. May be I can give you a hand. The guy says "sorry, I can’t help you". Shocked, I asked the second guy, Will you help me and he goes "Why should I". Shocked and mentally not prepared for such an incident to happen, I do not know how to react. I leave the break room, not just with thirst, but with anger. I am so fumed out that I couldn’t control my tears. Why are men rude to women at work? Why are they feminist? What is so special about them that they think women can’t compete with them? Think about it, God gifted the same brain to apply at work as with men.

I narrated this incident to another ex-colleague of mine. And she goes "Well this did happen to me too". But you know how I dealt with the guy. I told him, well Sorry, I forgot you are not a strong man. And immediately yelled out "Is there a strong man around who can help me with the bottle". I laughed at what she told, but thought to myself that I need to grow up to face people so different to how we want them to be.

2. I had a pregnant lady around me whose figure was definitely changing day by day or in pregnancy terms week by week. But of course she looked more beautiful than before. In India, they say that when a girl carries a girl, she is more beautiful than with a boy. However, American tale says the opposite. But this co-worker of mine carried a boy. And she looked dashingly beautiful, not to forget she was cute even before the pregnancy. I vaguely remember, she was close to her half term, when someone came to her (and this is a lady) and told her "she does look fat". How rude? I thought to myself. I knew I had no babies so far, and had no idea on how pregnancy weight gain is. But I have seen pregnant bellies and know they have to eat to support for two and that the process will definitely will make them look huge. Nevertheless, the girl looked gorgeous and she delivered a handsome baby.

3. I once went to a meeting and took a seat right close to the door, so I can escape quickly after the meeting is over. I had this guy who came to me and said I have to leave the chair as it belonged to him and that, that’s his favorite spot. I thought to myself, I don’t see a name tag with his name written there. And also this is not your home buddy, its office. But again, not knowing how to snob, I quickly leave the chair and occupy the one next to his but definitely giving a frown face to all the others to express myself out. I don’t sit in his chair till date, even though I know the guy should be taken to the HR for his rudeness.

4. Working in US is definitely different to working in your hometown. Especially when it comes to dealing Americans.
I had this American coworker who told me about how he hates companies off-shoring their project to India. He mentioned to me, that why America helps improve India's economy. I wanted to cut him out by saying "Dear! You know you are talking to another Indian”. But then I thought to myself, we have always complained British for looting our possessions which if we had held would have made us even more supreme than US. And thought, even though the guy was rude, he did have a point. He was once taken out of a project for his team was off-shored to India. But I immediately asked him, well! There are not many Americans who got to engineering schools. So that leaves this country to seek talent elsewhere. I asked him, how do you think, things made easy for me to get a job here? It’s because the company is unable to find a talent within its own country. How that is there are lots of internationals who get green card every single day? I told him that one of the steps in the process is to prove that there is no American talent to match this guy. The guy looked at me and realized he was talking to a wrong person. Of course, I am going to support my country for that’s where I am from. But I know he wasn’t convinced for sure.

5. Again working in a place where your accent is so different to the localities. I had this co-worker from one of my previous jobs. He was at least 15-20yrs older to me. Perfect Texan from his accent, he once made me repeat a line few times just to make me feel irritated. The first time he made me repeat, I felt, Damn me! I should learn to speak slowly especially when I have an accent. The second time when i spoke really slow, all the others Americans but him understood. The third time, I smelt his intent and the fourth time; I told him I can write and show what I came to say. He laughed out and said I understood the first time you spoke, but wanted to see how many times you can go over. I am thinking here to myself, I am not in any interview for you to run a patience test on me or to find the team work capability in me. Although he played a prank, I know I won’t forget this guy for his silliness.